Why is it that when fat people lose weight, they look sickly?
Why is it that when fat people lose weight, they look sickly?
What Happens After "Thin" Comes to an End?
Not by itself, at least. You've made significant adjustments and put in a lot of effort to get to that magical, healthy number: your goal weight! But, as Michelle Vicari, who lost 158 pounds after gastric bypass surgery in 2006, points out, "there's no finish line." She claims that "no balloons fall from the sky." "In reality, the next day you wake up to more of the same."
Lisa Durant used Weight Watchers and My Fitness Pal to lose 115 pounds. She felt lost when she came to the "after weight loss" section.
"I've spent so much of my life striving to 'reduce weight.' I had no clue what I was going to do with myself after it was done "she explains.
So she wrote about it in "The 'After' Myth," a harrowingly honest blog piece that went viral. "I wish I had realized that losing weight does not imply you are no longer struggling with your weight. I'm still having trouble with eating. I'm still struggling with myself "she penned
That isn't to say it isn't worthwhile; it is. But, if Durant is correct, and there is no "after," what does the following phase entail?
You are still the same person.
Everyone, no matter how big or small, is facing difficulties. If you've been focusing just on losing weight, the other difficulties will appear after it's gone.
Rosalia O'Donoghue, an East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania teacher, lost 103 pounds via diet and exercise. "I thought being slim would make me more confident," she adds, "but being thin didn't make me an outgoing person."
When people lose weight, they might feel disappointed or unhappy. Deborah Beck Busis, a diet program supervisor at the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, says, "They understand that their lives are still not ideal." "Solving that one [issue] isn't going to fix the others."
"Do they have ideal lives?" she advises thinking of some healthy-weight persons you know. "No," is the truthful response.
"It would be a simpler world if our pleasure was only dictated by our weight," Durant adds.
Fortunately, you don't have to be flawless in your physique or in any other aspect of your life. If you're having trouble dealing with life's challenges, consider talking with a therapist or counselor.
Your Self-Concept
Although the pounds have vanished, the memory of them frequently stays. Even after dropping from a size 18-20 to a size 6-8, O'Donoghue claims she felt overweight.
She acknowledges, "I still have so many hang-ups." "Everyone complimented me on my appearance, but I would point out that 'I have a rollover here and there.' It's difficult to adjust to your new physique."
Give yourself new labels instead of thinking of yourself as "fat" or "out of shape," says Susan Albers, PsyD, author of Eat. Q. Use words like "healthy," "energetic," and "thin." Make a mental note of the terms. Put them on sticky notes and put them on your vehicle visor or bedroom door so you can see them all day. Your brain will be retrained as a result of this.
Another problem, according to Albers, is that "people still wear garments that are too big for them without recognizing it." "They avoid looking in the mirror and, when they do, are startled to find someone who is thinner."
Durant replies, "It's really accurate." She was preparing for a business trip after losing a significant amount of weight. She picked a suit that was three sizes too big without thinking about it.
"At the airport, I had to put my arms up for the scanner, and I thought my pants were going to fall down!" She now laughs about it.
Durant would choose gowns that were too large even when she went shopping. "The fact that the apparel was the wrong size had not occurred to me. I assumed a dress didn't work with my figure if it felt odd on my shoulders or was too short."
She was stunned when a family member slipped her into a size 2 zipped-up garment. She compares it to learning how to clothe a new person.
Albers advises making friends with your reflection. Look in the mirror and grin when you're feeling well. Then concentrate on one aspect of your new physique that you appreciate.
What Others Think About You
"You look fantastic!" others exclaim. They'll hold doors for you, assist you with your shopping, and go out of their way to be kind.
Whether you like or dislike the attention your new body receives, you'll need to figure out how to deal with it. Even when the attention is pleasant, being in the limelight may be unsettling. Even while the remarks you hear today aren't as intrusive as they were before, they might still feel too intimate. That would be an excellent issue to discuss with your counselor.
Be prepared for the fawning to slow down or stop if you're on a high, according to Albers. People will eventually become accustomed to your new appearance.
Some people perceive praises to be unflattering. "Women feel enraged at the world for being so shallow," says Caroline Apovian, MD, head of Boston Medical Center's Nutrition and Weight Management Center. Because you have a distinct appearance, you are being treated differently. What is her recommendation? "Feel your rage. It's a cruel world out there. Just knowing that might be beneficial."
Instead of appreciation, you may receive the polar opposite: criticism. "People began to tell me I had dropped too much weight and that I seemed ill," O'Donoghue adds. "I was irritated." She, on the other hand, chose not to take it personally.
She reassured herself, "They're simply used to my being overweight." "Their brains tell them I'm too skinny."
Albers concurs that it isn't always about you. People frequently say things that mirror their own weight or eating issues.
People You Care About
Your weight reduction may have an impact on your partner, family, and friends. According to Domenica Rubino, MD, director of the Washington Center for Weight Management and Research, "many [people] eat to deal with the problems in their relationships." "However, once they stop eating for that purpose, they'll be ready to deal with the problem. Frequently, a partner isn't. This can lead to conflict."
You may have excessive expectations about yourself, and you may have exaggerated expectations about your relationship. "[Men] often believe that if they reduce weight, their wives will have sexual intercourse with them," adds Apovian. "And it doesn't always work out like that." Both parties are on the same page in a good relationship.
A boost in your self-esteem might tip the scales in your relationship, especially if the other person is insecure. Someone may feel guarded and defensive when the dynamic shifts.
It doesn't have to, though. "Make sure your connection is strong," Albers advises. Look for methods to reassure them that they are still valuable members of your family. Tell them how grateful you are for their assistance.
"It's the darker side of human nature to want to level the playing field when someone feels threatened," Vicari adds. For example, when her buddy remarked, "Oh, you had that operation," and then told her about another acquaintance who had the same procedure and gained weight. She now keeps her distance from those who aren't positive and encouraging.
It's fine to let go of individuals who hold you back or cause you more pain than joy, especially if you've tried to work things out.
What if your new way of living generates conflict? "Perhaps you could wake up early and exercise instead of lying with your lover and reading the newspaper," Rubino suggests. "Even preparing alternative foods or not having his chips in the home may lead to fights."
She recommends doing something together to strengthen your bond, such as attending a cooking class or joining a leisure sports team. Alternatively, take turns stretching while reading articles aloud to one another.
Make new outings with your pals your responsibility as well. Instead of avoiding after-work happy hours due to the alcohol and hot wings, Rubino suggests asking if they'd like to join a group dancing lesson. "Your buddies, regardless of weight, may open for anything new since they're in their own funk."
Take pleasure in your new body.
Apovian advises that you do the things you couldn't accomplish previously. Traveling, playing with your children, helping at a community garden, learning to scuba dive, or shopping for new clothes are all possibilities.
Examine your life and see what you've been putting off. Then go ahead and do it! Durant adds, "I put myself into trekking and going out." "Loving life — and loving myself — is my new project."
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